Senin, 14 Oktober 2013
What kind of pure feelings do I have?
Pure enough to say that I'll stay in this place 'till the end
Pure enough to say that my feelings will remain the same
Pure enough to say that I love you, no matter what catastrophe would hit me
No matter how many storm will blow me away
No matter how hard the blizzard would freeze me
'Cause I'm sure, no one will ever have a pure intentions to you as I do
What kind of pure feelings do you have?
Pure enough to stay, leave me, then stay, then leave me again as much as you want?
Pure enough to be kind, be cruel, be kind, then be cruel to me, as long as you happy?
Pure enough to bring catastrophe to me? Baby, you are my catastrophe
To bring me storm as hurt as those around you? Baby, there's so many people I have to hate
To bring me blizzard? Baby, your heart is as cold as one
'Cause I know, I feel your love, but anyhow you always make me hurt
Why don't you kill me, literally?
Rip my body down with your sword
Smack my head with your hammer
This living feeling
And a hollow body
I would rather day than to live like this
I would rather die, literally than to live with this scars that always increase
Why don't you torture me, literally?
Whip my chest with your thorned cruelty
Smash me repeatedly with your agony
I would rather have a physical hurt than always unsure, you love me at a second, then love-me-not next one
I would rather have a permanent flaws than to live like this
This living feeling
And a hollow body
Written at 10-10-13
Note from me:
I love you. I'm still loving you, and I will always love you. But sometimes I'm just feel tired and sick of it so bad that I would rather choose you to kill me. Let this feeling buried below my dead body. Or if it remains, let it be and just let me cry for it in heaven.
Do you think I will suitable in heaven? I hope so.
Here, I'm thinking how does it feel if my feeling for you never exist? I ever live like that once, and it was a very peaceful life. Life was almost perfect. I practically didn't care about others. I treated all people the same. I had no feelings. Like a zombie, I was just drooling around, did routine things : eat-school-play-sleep, I saw you there, but you were not important. Just a shadow I could erase from my mind easily. Yeah, it was.
It was a peaceful life, but not a perfect one, though. I love you right now, and it's perfect. I'm happy with scars you leave, because you're the one I love. Although this scars getting hurt.
Just one thing before I leave. I love you.
